Yes, that’s young Allie, on the wrong side of the bars – very self satisfied! We’re quite sure he’s a boy, given the squarks – no copied words as yet, but quite a lot of noise.
And that’s his Mum, out for a stretch of the wings and some pampering. She adores having her beak rubbed and her chin and ear patches scratched.
I went to the physio about my jaw today. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand it turns out that most of the problems actually originate….
… from when I broke my L2 (that’s way down in my lower back). Bad posture from trying to compensate has exacerbated the problems that were already there and now I have HOMEWORK from the physio to start to sort it out. He manipulated my C2/C3 facet joints (I am now very sore) but the for the first time in years I could open my mouth fully and the joint didn’t go CLUNK, and I could turn my head all the way to the right! (I almost felt like an owl!)
So I’m very motivated to do the homework. Gently. But consistently. And I have to work on my balance. (Oops. I kinda knew about that already, the bruises were a hint…)
Still coughing, by the way. The cough medicine doesn’t really help after the first hour, nor does the asthma medication. It’s very embarrassing being anywhere public and having a cough that DOESN’T STOP! I feel like waving a sign saying “NOT INFECTIOUS, REALLY!!” I tried to get in to see my GP today but she’s away and then booked up until the 24th… I have an appointment with her on the 8th so I guess I’ll just have to wait until then. Such a hassle around Christmas/New Year getting anything done!
Whine whine whine…. that’s all I feel like I do these days. It has been a tough week – my jaw is still aching from the dental work last Monday – the dentist did say it would probably take a few days for the tooth to settle down. The weather has finally turned showery and blowy today, which usually makes my bones ache (and poor Mr Beloved too – what a pair of old crocks we are!) The TMJ pain is still there, even though the chiro treatment helped – I know that usually takes a couple of weeks to settle down.
I’ve been dealing with panic attacks. Oooooh boy. At least now I know I can take the pill (l0razepam) but I’m very aware that it’s easy to get addicted to them, and I sometimes feel like a failure when I have to take one.
But it’s SO MUCH BETTER to take the pill and be calm instead of spiralling into hours of misery and panic and thinking I can’t breathe and feeling like I’m going to vomit and having to run to the loo every 5 minutes because I get instant diarrhoea with the panic. Isn’t that just a charming detail? Just writing about it is embarrassing. I wish I could even say what triggers the damn panics, but most of the time I can’t – once it was as simple as my ears getting clogged from this cold and feeling like I couldn’t unblock them and WHOOSH – panic. Embarrassing.
And I’m FINALLY changing over med1cat10ns! I’m feeling a bit wonky because of that, too, I think. The nice psychiatrist has said I can cross over the T0pamax (the new one, that might help me lose weight, as well as stopping the m1gra1nes) and the Ser0quel (the horrible one that made me constantly hungry) – that is, I can start and increase the T while decreasing the S, until I’m on the dose I feel is right of the T and the S is completely GONE. And the nice psychiatrist is *available*, even if it’s just getting back to me in a phone message, so I feel much safer doing this than when I’ve changed other med1cat10ns.
And group therapy starts again this week. Who knew, back when I started going, that I would actually be looking FORWARD to going to group therapy and the help it gives?
So that’s about it – just trying to keep going. Still toying with the idea of maybe possibly doing a university subject but perhaps not this semester… maybe when I’m feeling a bit more stable.