Busy week…

Posted on March 11, 2012 by Caitlin

Uni is HARD.  Did I mention that before?  I expected it to be hard.  What I didn’t expect was that it would be quite this difficult.

It’s not that the work itself is difficult to understand.  Yes, there are new things to learn – that’s why I’m going, after all.

What I’m finding hard is just the sheer amount if TIME it take me to do everything.  We’re supposed to do 10 hours of private study per week as well as the lecture and tute – it’s taking me closer to 20 to get through the coursework and reading.   And that’s NOT because I’m being a perfectionist – I am firmly keeping in mind that “P’s get degrees” – I do not need a High Distinction pass, I just need a Pass. But as my Helpful Psychiatrist wrote on my medical certificate, I now have a “decreased capacity to concentrate, assimilate and demonstrate knowledge”.  20 + years of mental illness and various psych drugs, and chronic pain will do that to you.

So I need to get back to it.   But if you want someone to explain the difference between structural, orientational, and ontological metaphors, I can do that… provided you get in NOW, before my brain has to take in something else….

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It has NOT been a good day.

Posted on March 6, 2012 by Caitlin

DOOMMMFF DOOMMMFF DOOMMMFF DOOMMMFF chicka chicka screech screech chicka  DOOMMMFF DOOMMMFF DOOMMMFF DOOMMMFF

That was what we heard non stop from about 5 pm last night until just before midnight when the police finally roused the neighbors (who I can only assume had passed out DRUNK and/or drugged) and issued a noise abatement notice.

We’d tried knocking on their door at 10pm, having been tolerant up until then… when no one answered, we called the cops.  When it was as loud as ever at 11, we called the police station again, so they’d know the job still needed attention.  The police tried the front door, then the back, then the front again for several minutes before they got any response…

Our houses about about 3 metres apart and made of wood.  So they act like giant speaker boxes. Very resonant. Very LOUD.

I had a panic attack.  And in case I haven’t mentioned it before, even with the magic “stop the panic attack” pill? I still get full on gastro symptoms. As in instant dysentery.  Oh yeah, it’s GREAT fun. And takes me hours to settle down again. You can imagine.  Thank goodness for a constant supply of frozen hydralyte pops.

all products2 300x260 It has NOT been a good day.

I like the blackcurrant ones

(And now it’s nearly 6 pm and Sullenteena has started it up again.)

And of course I was supposed to go to my uni lecture this morning.  Nope. Didn’t get there.  Thankfully it’s taped, so once the video is uploaded I can watch it. Maybe after group therapy tomorrow.  Hopefully before the tute on Thursday.

And in other fun news, the local council sneakily, without any community consultation or even changing the signs in the park, suddenly took away our dog walking park.  Yes, I have written a letter expressing my anger. And sent it.

*sigh*

And with all this going on I missed my chiropractic appointment – but they were very understanding and rescheduled it for slightly later.  Ahhhhh!

And it’s raining again.  Looks like the clothes dryer is going to be bought THIS DAMN WEEK. I think it’s going to be a basic Fisher and Paykel model with the vent/lint filter in the front door – because it’s right price and the right configuration for our space.

But at least the flood peak at Wagga Wagga (where  I went to school and where Mum and Dad lived until very recently) has hit 10.6 metres and is now receding – so it didn’t go over the levee!! There are in a declared State of Emergency with lots of evacuations, and I see on their live radar they’ve got more rain coming too – and a visit from the Prime Minister – sheesh, haven’t they suffered enough?!

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*headdesk* First week of Uni…embarrassment

Posted on March 3, 2012 by Caitlin

And already I’m pretty sure the other people in tute class HATE me.

And I can’t remember the last time I blushed so HARD.

Or had to pull my t-shirt up over my head and hide. (What am I, 5?  SHEESH!)

The first lecture was okay.  But the first tute?

I was TIRED after the first day, too tired to go to group therapy. The textbook arrived Wednesday arvo, so I worked really hard doing the reading and the homework (Ahem, “Learning Activities” – must keep up with the current terminology!) before the tute on Thursday.

Marsen 279x300 *headdesk* First week of Uni...embarrassment

Thrilling stuff...

I kept my Thursday morning appointment with my lovely Mental Health Nurse at the Helpful Psychiatrist’s – she’s a no bullshit sort of person and Very Helpful with strategies, and the appointments are funded by Medicare – no out of pocket for us.  I can just go and talk to her about what’s making me anxious and she really helps with sensible, practical ideas that I can use to calm down and stop the spiral up (or down).  Mr Beloved even came in with me this time, and he agrees she is another useful tool (and I don’t mean that in any sort of nasty way – I mean that she is another person for Team Caity). Yay!

Then Mr Beloved drove me out to uni because I had booked in for a 90 minute  “Super Library Session” on “Finding Information for Your Assignments”.

tumblr m084uoQDpv1r6bqsko1 1280 300x225 *headdesk* First week of Uni...embarrassment

Yeah BABY!

WOW!!  The whole WORLD has changed since I first went to uni.   The librarians showed us how to access huuuuuuge databases of online journal articles and refine the searches to get what we want (and download the articles if they’re available), and look for e-books, and I can do all that from home-  unless I need an actual physical book in the library I don’t need to go in to the library at all.  And the library has an online java chat system so if you need to ask a librarian something during the hours that the library is open, you can jump online and just ask.   Amazing stuff.

Then I had a half hour break before the tutorial. So I found the right room, sat outside in the sun, and ate my lunch.

And the first part of the tute was ok, the usual intro stuff.  I explained in my intro to classmates that I have a chronic pain condition so if I get up and move around and stretch I’m not being rude, I just need to not be in pain.  That’s all good.

But I TALKED TOO MUCH. *headdesk*

And then in the last half hour of the two hour tute I put my foot in it.  I said “Look, these “Learning Activities”, what’s the go? Are we supposed to just do them for the sake of doing them or do we discuss them in the tutes or what? Cos I worked REALLY HARD on this and I am confused about his question and I’d really like to know what everyone else thought and…”

The tutor said “Ummm, well, I thought since it was week 1 and people might not have the textbooks we wouldn’t discuss it this week but yeah, normally we’d do those in the tute, and what part were you having problems with?”

But by that time I’d already said “Oh great, way to get everyone in the tute mad at me” and blushed BRIGHT red and hidden my head in my shirt… oops.  Yeah.  And I have to go back next week.

But at least everyone did start to discuss the question… I think we were all sick of just intro stuff by then.. at least I hope everyone else was as well…

I feel like I’m already a bit behind in the work for next week… we get divided into groups of 28 or so for the next “e-tivity” that we need to complete online.  I’m hoping to do the required reading tomorrow and if no one else has started the discussion on the online forum by then I’ll write something… at least the e-tivity group is mostly external students, who don’t know what an IDIOT I’ve already made of myself!

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First Day of Big School

Posted on February 28, 2012 by Caitlin

And with it, the Traditional First Day of School photo:

Caity first day of big school 211x300 First Day of Big School

Off to big school!

(come on – your family did this too, right?  School uniform and bags, out the front of the house?)

This was truly the best of the photos – I was grumpy this morning, oh dear! Not least because I had got myself all nicely settled last evening at around 9:15 pm for an early night when with an almighty VOOOOMP fzzzzttt – the power went off.

Again.

Third time in three weeks. And no power means no CPAP machine means NO SLEEP.

*headdesk*

Fortunately the power came back on about 1:15am, so I got to sleep not long after.  But I was grumpy.

Still, we got out to the university all right  -  it takes 15 minutes at that time of morning, not bad at all.  That was a bit of an indulgence, having Mr Beloved drive me – normally I’ll be catching the bus. Which takes nearly an hour, so I’ll have lots of time to read or catch up on podcasts.

Keeping in mind Dad’s admonitions on the phone last night to “not cry when Mr Beloved drops you off, just go inside, get out your crayons, and play with the other kids” (the same advice he gave me for kindergarten, I’m sure!) I found the lecture theatre, hauled myself to a seat up near the top where my need to get up and walk and stretch shouldn’t get in anyone’s way, and was immediately intimidated by how damn YOUNG all my classmates were.  There’s a couple of other “mouldy oldies” but the majority are kids.  Eeek!

I just have to keep reminding myself that when I was 18, I thought *I* knew everything, too.

The first lecture was mainly orientation and introduction – much of the course will be conducted online (whether you’re an on-campus or external student) so the lecturer went over how important it was to know where all the online stuff lived.  Right. Gotcha.

I’m still waiting (ARRRGH!  Is it here yet?  How about now?  Could you just check, in case you forget to put the parcel card in my post office box? No?  ARRRRRGH!!!) for my text book.   And no, the town library doesn’t have a copy and all the uni library copies are unavailable… if my copy hasn’t arrived by Saturday I’ll try the uni library then.

And now I am being naughty and looking at pictures of the Oscar frocks, because I am tired and there’s only so much communications theory my brain can deal with in one day.

Group therapy tomorrow, then first tute on Thursday.

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More adventures with local wildlife..

Posted on February 27, 2012 by Caitlin

Came back after lunch and a quick run after to the post office (STILL NO TEXTBOOK… breathe, breathe…) to find Miss Constance J. Woodle VERY keen to investigate the inaccessible area under the corner where Daddy’s two desks join.  Hmmmm.

OUT!  CONNIE, OUT!  Good Dog!

Much ducking about with torches and banging with sticks, followed by walling off the area with moving boxes (and swearing).  In these cases, my job is to hold the dog.

Cause of Miss C.J.’s interest was soon discovered:

lizard under desk 300x225 More adventures with local wildlife..

Alllllllll the way in the furtherest corner...

A luvverly big blue-tongue lizard!  We like them.  They eat snails and slugs and generally if you have a bluey around, you don’t have snakes at the same time. YAY!

But he couldn’t stay in the shed. So Mr Beloved wrangled him into a box

bluey in a box 300x225 More adventures with local wildlife..

So much for my new laptop packaging!

and from the box into a tub for a quick photo or three before release back over the fence.

Ill do ya 300x225 More adventures with local wildlife..

Grrrrr...

He looks grumpy, but there was no threat behaviour from him – he didn’t flatten himself or poke out his lovely blue tongue – so the whole thing was more of an inconvenience than a problem.  They do stink when cornered, but that’s about it.  I hope he’ll be back in the yard before long (but not in the shed!)

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Wet…

Posted on February 26, 2012 by Caitlin

Just an update on the throw-away line at the bottom of yesterday’s blog – we had 29 mm of rain yesterday (to 9 am this morning, at the airport – and as I have remarked previously, our house seems to get a lot more rain than the airport).

Mr Beloved pointed out that we can’t go out in sheets in public – one set is on the bed, one set is wet on the line (and now will have that awful manky smell from being wet for days, ugh) and one set is in the cupboard – but there’s only one flat sheet per set.  So only ONE of us can wear the sheet.  Hmmm.

Poor Old Cat had another indoors accident last night – she was sent out to go to the loo, but we suspect that in the driving wind and rain she sat on the top step and decided NOT TO GO and then was caught short.  Oh dear.  (Please don’t suggest a litter box – she misses those too.  Her mind is going, not just her aim.)

Still, the forecast is for “Drizzle clearing” so we can hope that if we put another load of wash through the machine it might have some chance of drying this week…

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Adventures in University Work – and it’s not even Week 1 yet

Posted on February 25, 2012 by Caitlin

It took me over two hours to write a short three paragraph response to the”Introduction” thread for my university subject.  To be fair, there was a three part question that needed to be answered, and it involved choosing one or several of 14 headings at the top of a complicated diagram of “the genealogy of communication”, and the two hours included thinking time… but… *HEADDESK*!!

But I’ve now completed as much of the online work for Week 1 as I can until my other textbook gets here. WHICH HAD BETTER BE SOON.  Ah well, next time I’ll know to choose my subject further in advance and order the textbook earlier.  Yeah yeah, I know you probably don’t reaaaally do much in week 1, and I know I’m supposed to be all “P’s get degrees” BUT I’m trying to get a leeeetle bit ahead where I can just in case, you know?

First lecture is on Tuesday morning.  I hope I can sleep on Monday night.

I am nervous about being able to take notes  – but because the course is offered both on campus and as an external/distance subject, I should have access to recorded versions of the lectures.  My fibromyalgia has flared up again, and I can’t hold a pen to write for much more than signing my name (and even that’s a bit dodgy.)  Typing’s not too bad so long as I rest fairly often.

The university offers a LOT of disability support – it’s one of the reasons I decided to enroll at USQ.  And I have my shiny new laptop, which poor Mr Beloved spent 10+ hours getting set up and making backup disks in case of catastrophic failure, and getting my desk all organised with the laptop at the right height, additional keyboard below and a second screen for ease of reading texts at home – everybody say “awwwwwwww!” – isn’t he the best!

2012 02 25 Caity desk 300x225 Adventures in University Work and its not even Week 1 yet

My (Summer) at home desk

[as always, clicky for biggy].  As you can see, a phone book brings the extra monitor to just the right height, and the hi-tech laptop stand is re-purposed floorboards from a long-demolished Canberra govvie house.  (Nothing in the shed is JUNK. It’s all  waiting for a use… well, most of it.  I admit some of my stuff needs to go.  Ahem.)

Shiny New Computer also came with Kindle for PCS already installed. Wheee!  I am rapidly learning to do more screen-based reading – and since my assignments for uni can be submitted electronically (and get marked more quickly if I do so) I’m going to have to get used to not even printing out a copy to proof read. Another tree (and more expensive ink) saved each time…

And now, as usual, I have to go eat.  I forget when I’m down here on the computer until I get reallllllly hungry.  So nice to have that change now – I’m very VERY glad to be off the horrible Ser0quel, but I still need to up the d0se of the new med1cation – which I can’t do until I see the Nice Psychiatrist on the 5th of March.

And did I mention it’s VERY wet here again? I am really considering that a clothes dryer is no longer a luxury but a necessity – unless we want to appear in public in bedsheets.

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Good Guys who weren’t, Harvey Norman FAILED, and Officeworks WORKED!

Posted on February 20, 2012 by Caitlin

First real uni activity today – getting the student ID organised!  I can’t pick it up ’til Wednesday (it will be ready tomorrow but I have group therapy) so I have no idea if I’m stuck with a dorky photo for the entire year – let’s hope not.

The university is at the other end of town from where we live, so on the way home we knew we’d be buying the computer and assorted accessories for Caity’s Adventures at Big School. We’d done our comparison shopping online and had a pretty good idea of the beastie we wanted and the price we were going to pay.

This is what we looked like (although not as sweaty, since it was earlier in the day)

len and caity 300x216 Good Guys who werent, Harvey Norman FAILED, and Officeworks WORKED!

Ageing hippies in tie dye

Not dirty, not smelly, decently shod.  Hair and teeth brushed.  Respectable.

We stopped first at The Good Guys.  Don’t know why I’m even bothering to link to them since nobody in their store could even be bothered TALKING TO US.  They had one bloke on loss prevention at the door, about three cars besides ours in the car park and no staff in sight.  We looked around the laptops for a while, eventually saw a staffer serving someone else – he made no move to acknowledge our presence – so we left.

FAIL!

On up the car park to Harvey Norman,  a store we don’t particularly like anyway, and this time… well!  We enquired about the computer we’d seen online, with the very supercilious staffer sniffing “Oh no, there’s none of the $500 computers left after two weeks of our sale, here’s a $799 computer!”

FAIL!!  Why the hell would I want to even look at something for $300 more?

When we said again we’d seen the computer at their online store, he said disdainfully “Oh, that’s clearance store, we could have it delivered to this store if you like”

FAIL AGAIN!!  (Why would I have it delivered to your store, snotbag, when I could get it delivered to my door?)

(Actually, right as I’m typing this, their site claims that the same computer is in stock at the Toowoomba store – the shit of a salesperson didn’t even offer to check the stock!!)

Needless to say we left there, too.

Officeworks was on the way home.   We knew from our online research that they had the same laptop, and yep, they had it in stock.  Nice young chappie was very helpful, made sure we had the right gear, explained how the new system of preloaded MS-Office (that you then activate with a purchased card with a scratch-off number) worked, checked the price on the laptop bag I was looking at when it wasn’t clear on the shelf – yep, he got the $700-odd sale.

Home for lunch and then off to The Government Department Which Controls Our Lives – always stressful.  I am amazed by the calm of the people who work there – just in the short time I was there some idiot walked in with his pit bull dog (“Sir, you can’t bring your dog in, take it outside please”) and everybody blithely ignores the “Please turn off your mobile phone” sign.  After a half hour wait I handed in my form and that was it.

Then to the mall (Grand Central, it calls itself, but we know it as “Grump Central”) and I decided today was the day to do something about my glasses.  I bought them in August last year and the paint was peeling off the inside of the arms, and the metal bits that hold the nosepads on were very flimsy. Not good enough!  The staff mentioned they’d already had another pair returned with the same paint problem and offered to put my lenses in a new pair of the same frames on the spot.

I accepted.  The glasses have a two year warranty, and if the same problems happen again they’ve promised a different frame.  So well done, Specsavers – you’ll probably get my business again, after all!

All in all, a successful day.  Mr Beloved will do the configuring and making a big backup disk for the new computer tonight (always handy to have something in case the whole thing needs to reset to zero!)

And now – off to make tuna pie so we have something to eat for tea and I can take some to eat for my lunch at hospital tomorrow.  After a couple of weeks of experimenting, I’ve found that group therapy by itself is enough to my my anxious tummy upset – eating greasy cafeteria food that has been sitting in the hot cabinet for who knows how long can make me sick long into the night.  So now I take my own lunch, even though the health fund pays for the cafeteria lunch…

 

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Busy busy busy busy!

Posted on February 19, 2012 by Caitlin

Oh my goodness so busy and I’m not even into Orientation week yet!  That starts tomorrow although honestly, I’m TOO OLD for most of the O week kerfuffle – I’m going out tomorrow to get my student ID card and that’s about it.

I’ve been able to log on to my courses already (ah, the wonders of the steam age!) and changed my mind about what I was enrolling in and how may courses I should attempt  – arrrgh!  After much to-ing and fro-ing and general messing about – ONE.

One course this semester – it has 4 contact hours, and that doesn’t sound like very much, but combine that with the one day a week at group therapy and the other medical appointments and the expectation of at least 10 hours of private study to back up those 4 contact hours and  – well, that’s more than enough for my poor muddled brain.

(If you’re interested, it’s one of the courses in the recommended enrolment pattern for the Writing And Society major, CMS1010 “Introduction to Communication Studies”.  Yep.  More semiotics.)

I’ve already booked in for a “Super Library Session” on “Finding Information for Your Assignments” – anything that will give me a leg up!  Things have changed so DRASTICALLY since I last studied at this level – the sheer volume of online information, and referencing – sheesh, I have to know how to reference podcasts!  (I do know how, in the university approved Harvard referencing style. I looked it up.)

11230 238x300 Busy busy busy busy!

darn this newfangled technology!

So this week I have to buy a new laptop to take to uni (Or Big School, as we are jokingly referring to it in family conversations) and a bag to lug that around in.  Textbooks are on the way from bookdepository.co.uk, where they were $29 each instead of $39.90 each at the University bookshop (really, I can’t support the local shop when their price is so much higher – I can’t afford principles on the pension we live on!).

A visit to The Government Department Which Controls Our Lives is also on this list of chores this week *shudder* – just having to interact with them is stressful, even when they’re helping us.

And that’s about all the news that’s fit to print – except to mention that our poor old cat is failing.  She’s 15 and is starting to forget that she needs to leave the building before she goes to the loo… oh dear.  She’s been a lovely cat, and as soon as she shows any signs of suffering we’ll make sure they stop peacefully, but it’s going to be very hard to let her go.  She came to Mr Beloved as a tiny scrap of a kitten and they have been inseparable ever since – I think they have probably only spent a handful of nights apart.

Poor Connie will have to get used to being the only 4 footed furry for a while when Kit Tern goes…

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BOOM! CRASH! THUNDER! LIGHTNING! RAAAAAAIIIIN!

Posted on February 14, 2012 by Caitlin

So, it’s the rainy season here in South East Queensland and we’ve had a couple of really BIG storms in the last few days – Sunday we had a storm with 70 km/h winds and the rain coming in horizontally through the closed windows, and the rain showing up RED (intense!) on the Bureau of Meteorology’s radar.

Yesterday we watched the sky getting darker and a funny greenish colour, then BOOM!  No lights, no power, no phone lines.  Luckily the mobile phone network was still up, and the nice lady from Ergon Energy called to let me know that they couldn’t tell me how long the power would be out.  (I’m on their “Life Support” list – because I need the CPAP machine to sleep.  And it needs power.  I’ve thought about getting a back-up battery for it but they’re (ouch!) $560. )

We’ve had 54mm of rain so far this month according the rain gauge at the airport  but I’m sure that place must be in a rain shadow – our yard is definitely soggier than that!

Meanwhile:  Tuesday, group therapy day. Tough one today, some deep dark stuff came up, ugh.  And that’s all I want to say about that here.  Apart from that group therapy continues to be AMAZINGLY WORTHWHILE and I am incredibly fortunate that my health fund pays for it.

My darling Mr Beloved made a beautiful Valentine’s Day card for me this year (he does every year), but I haven’t checked if I have permission to share, so you’ll just have to take my word for it that it’s creative and awesome.

And I’m on tenterhooks waiting for the paperwork to arrive from USQ so I can get officially enrolled and get organised looking for my second-hand textbooks etc!  Until I have a student ID I can’t take the next piece of paperwork to  The Government Department Which Controls Our Lives.

*sigh*

That’s  it from me. Have a random picture of a meerkat being given a bath, because I just remembered that I have to give the poodle a bath tomorrow (and no, that’s NOT a euphemism, for my more prurient readers, and yes I AM looking at you, ROBERT.)

meerkat having a bath BOOM! CRASH! THUNDER! LIGHTNING! RAAAAAAIIIIN!

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