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Yes, that is Constance J. Woodle  – but no, that’s not really me, LOL! Connie is in her full winter coat – I think next time she sees the groomer she’ll have a close shave – her hair starts to get knotty at this length.

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The bottom line that the scanner cut off says “I am really looking forward to bed!”

We see the doctor again in a fortnight and I’m determined that I will have lost at least a couple of kg by then.  I’m back to using the CalorieKing.com.au website to count calories and record  exercise: that really helped last time when I managed to lose weight.  I’m aiming for around 80kg as my final goal – heavier than Weight Watchers or CalorieKing recommend for my height and age, but more achievable than their estimate  – 60 kg? I don’t THINK SO!!Last time I was that weight I was 20 something years younger and caught any flu/cold/lurgy that was going. That’s when I got the glandular fever that is still effecting my life NOW.

And here’s a journal page I started at Social Cre8te at Tammy’s shop yesterday:

There’s some stamping in the background using one of the new ($4!) Kaisercraft texture stamps (the one called “Flourish”, CS759) – I’m looking forward to using the same stamp in wet gesso to give more texture to backgrounds – I forgot to take the gesso with me yesterday!  The buildings are made from a book I bought for $2 on British plants -  a very good buy because the paper is such beautiful quality, no foxing at all, and very sturdy, even though the book dates from the late 1930s (from memory). (No, it wasn’t worth anything as a book, but it’s lovely as art material.)

In other news: Mr Beloved hired a slasher (what a beastie!)

yesterday, and did the yard.  First time in about (mumblety… 5?) months, and the !@&*^!* kikuyu grass ( Pennisetum clandestinum – if you do a search on google images you’ll see just how invasive it is!) had grown into knee high, tangled mats that an ordinary mower  had no chance of defeating.  (And our mower still needs to go off to be repaired anyway…)  At least we can see the dog when she’s in the yard now!  We’re pulling up runners and trying to poison the rest of the kikuyu, it’s awful stuff.

And now it’s time to hang the washing  – such a beautiful almost Spring day here,  blue sky and the birds are turning over the drying “hay” left in the yard…

I had to buy new jeans this week (thank goodness Target had them on sale!) and since there was nothing acceptable in the fat chick range, I bought mens’ jeans.  BIG MENS jeans.  Actually ended up with a size bigger than I needed (or wanted) but things were getting desperate so I grabbed what I could.

(clicky biggy but you still probably won’t be able to read some of the journaling)

It’s always harder to keep the weight off in winter – yeah, I comfort eat, who doesn’t? – but this year has been harder with the Seroquel coming into play.  I know I’ve whined about this before, but it really does seem unfair that I have a choice of being mentally ok and fat or mentally screwed and maybe thinner.  It’s all very well for the psychiatrist to counsel not having any “bad” food in the house, but carrot sticks and celery are NOT what I want to eat on a cold and miserable day!  I’ll have to work out how to make long, slow cooked soup in the microwave – the stove is kaput, although the oven part still works  – it’s just the cooktop that is not working.

That said, I’ve stopped buying the bikkies (cookies) I liked, and am eating green apples like they’re going out of fashion. Nom nom nom.  I’m going to bake some bikkies or slice tonight (I’m limiting any baking to once a week) just so we can have something nice with our cuppas.  Without the palm oil and other strange additives of the commercial products.  A small treat while the rest of the food intake is so sensible … zucchini slice is a marvellous thing, lots of stealth veges and it lasts for at least 3 meals for the two of us!

Some of the stuff in my art journal has been too personal for me to post. I know, shocking – that I wouldn’t post something – it goes against my history – but there’s one issue in particular that is tricky and unresolved and I don’t want to expose it before things are sorted out.

(some info smudged for privacy reasons)

It’s been cold here.  I don’t sleep well when it’s cold – my bones ache.  Carrying all this extra weight doesn’t help that, of course, but July is always a tough month to get through.

I didn’t dust this week. I’ve only vacuumed the front and lounge and kitchen once.  There’s only so much fighting against the dust monster I can manage!

Another art journal page waiting for the writing… my hair is reaaaaaaalllly bugging me but I can’t afford to go to the hairdressers – and so I’m just using a headband to keep it back off my face.  I’m so grey now!  (Even the vet commented on how grey my hair is when I last took Connie in.)  Connie has to lose 1.5 kg (from her 7.5 kg total weight) and I am not even game to get on the scales (although I suspect my GP will make me when we go to see her on Monday…) – I’m back to needing to lose at least 20kg, though, I’m sure.  I can’t afford the gym, so I’m trying to walk each day – even though so far it’s only for 15-20 minutes.

Another oddly proportioned gal, inspired by the styles of Teesha and Nancy B…

I’m very excited that my parents will be visiting for a couple of days in September!  YAY!!  And I was excited that I was going to be able to get some parts for my brother’s car from the local wreckers – except that when they quoted the price, we had to “tell ‘em they’re dreamin’!” – they wanted $260 for a coupla bits of trim!!  Dad reckoned that he could make them out of gold for that price.

Mr Beloved also finds Winter difficult – his old back injury often flares up in the cold, and he just can’t get away from the pain.  We move slowly in Winter.  At least we don’t live in c-c-c-cold Canberra anymore – we think it’s dreadfully cold when the temperature overnight is 2 degrees C, but there were nights when Canberra had – 6… and I don’t think the houses we had there were any better built against the cold!

As you can see from my Shelfari widget (over there on the right if you’re reading this on my blog) I’ve been doing some reading.   Thank goodness for the city library! I’ve really enjoyed “The Secrets of The Immortal Nicholas Flamel” series written by Michael Scott: the whole series (three books so far) takes place in just over a week – it’s action all the way.  I’ve also found some of the boxes of books that I moved with; some I’m probably never going to read again and can get rid of, and some books that I look forward to re-reading.  I recently read “Cat in a Hot Pink Pursuit” by Carole Nelson Douglas – book SEVENTEEN of that series!  I used to re-read all the previous books before I read the new one, but these days I just read the one before if I can get my hands on it – I stopped buying this series at around book “K” (they’re alphabetical).

And now it’s getting too cold again for me to write.  Off to  the house for some art journaling before an evening of couch potato-ing – Monk, Doc Martin, and The Bill.

Oh, and the election? Let’s just say that regardless of all the sh1t that happens in the (drearily long) 5 week campaign, my vote will be going to another party for the first time EVER.  And it won’t be one of the major 2…

As you can see, I’m working in a spiral bound journal (A4 size) rather than making either of the book’s Kelly’s teaching; I’ll probably have a go at the books sometime but for now I’m happy with yet another A4 journal.  I’ve used a lot of scrapbooking papers in these pages – mostly because I have them and I’m trying to use them up, instead of being precious about them and “saving” them!

More pages to come…

(yes, I have put on weight. It’s cold and the new medication is NOT HELPING.  Just once, could I have a med that DOESN’T cause weight gain? )

The one exhibition I really wanted to see was well worth seeing – but alas, due to the fragile nature of the objects, no photography was allowed – and I didn’t want to spend $10 on a booklet (I would have bought 2 or three postcards, had any been available, but ten dollars is just too much.  AH, the life of the pov!)

Maybe I’ve just been at home too much, but I found the hoards of screaming children utterly exhausting.  After 20 minutes (which felt like an hour!) I had to retreat to the cafe for a cold drink.  I’m glad we avoided school holidays, I can only imagine what hell that must be.

I thought that the museum was very … empty.  Mr Beloved was also quite disappointed.  It was as though the entire centre was set up purely for small kids.  Fair enough as far as that goes, but not the Museum experience we were after.  I strongly suspect that the days of quiet contemplation of exhibits in cases are gone for good, more’s the pity.  Interaction schminteraction. (And you kids, get off my lawn!)

We then wandered outside for lunch (mmm, love that zucchini slice – it’s even good cold!) then down to the Queensland Art Gallery.  I’m very pleased I got to see the “Hats: an Anthology by Stephen Jones” exhibition,  even though that was quite busy too.  Mr Beloved noted that Stephen Jones’s own designs were very skillfully and beautifully made – often the best thing in the case.

By the time we left the Queensland Art Gallery and headed over to the Gallery Of Modern Art  I was getting reeeeaaaaallly tired.  We didn’t bother with the Ron Mueck exhibition because even the concession tickets were $10 each – and to be quite frank, his work totally creeps me out anyway.

I think we really tried to do too much in one day – about half an hour after this photo was taken (it’s at the end of GOMA, looking out onto the river) I just Could.Not.Go.On  and so even though we were about an hour early for meeting the friends, we decided to go to the cafe and just sit.

Mr Beloved was wearing a recognisable hat – and was recognised (it was the first face to face meeting with online friends).

We made quite good time out of the city, and got home around 6 pm.  On Sunday night the police came knocking on the door at about 20 to 9 – the business over the road had been broken into some time on the weekend, a big safe had been removed (probably with the aid of a circular saw) and had we heard anything?

Well, the neighbourhood dogs pretty much bark non-stop, every night,  so the barking I heard on Friday night might have been relevant – or not.  Talk about crying wolf…

Maybe now the business will invest in some proper security (although I doubt it.) As I remarked to the nice policemen, we get all sorts of cars and stray people down the end of the street because there’s no street light.

I called Mum and Dad at their new Adelaide house last night, too.  Week one, so they’re still trying to unpack, but they seem to be going ok.

I’m still trying to get rid of STUFF – there WILL be books leaving via Bookcrossing this week!

Remember travelling as a kids, and stopping at the various town parks for lunch/loo break/parent sanity break?  I’m sure there used to be one of these rockets in every second or third park (the others having an old steam train or traction engine parked in the concrete, possibly with signs asking”Keep off” but inevitably climbed all over).

I knew there was one in Toowoomba! I even have a (very) vague memory of stopping here as a kid… the rope climbing structure in the background wouldn’t have been there, of course.

Sadly, the bottom of the rocket is welded shut – I guess climbing into confined spaces is considered too dangerous these days.

Mum and Dad are mid way through The Big Move.  By this time next week they will have started to settle into their Adelaide house…

As you can see from the clear blue sky, it’s not a terrible day here – provided you can keep out of the wind. But at just on three thirty in the afternoon, it’s about time to start shutting up the house to keep the warmth in ….

I’m really feeling the cold today – the official weather site I check says it’s currently 13.1  degrees C but “feels like” 10.5 because of the windchill.  It’s been a blustery sort of day.  At least the washing will be dry (even if it’s difficult to tell because it feels cold as you take it off the line.)

You can see the length of our “lawn” here too – we’re currently without a lawn mower, and it seems to RAIN whenever we scrape the money together to hire one!  Oh well, maybe this fortnight…

And I’ve had a weepy sort of day – I’m not sure why.  Today is the last day Mum and Dad have in their home of 30+ years in Wagga Wagga before the removalists arrive to start loading.  I’m thrilled for them that they’re moving on to a new adventure in Adelaide, where they’ll be close to my brother and his family; but I’m also sad that they’ll be leaving friends and networks behind.

Right now I’d give just about anything to be able to move close to them all, but it’s just not going to happen – even if we could sell our house, we couldn’t afford to buy anywhere else.  I feel very isolated – which is weird, because they’ve been so far away anyway!

Mr Beloved has been working hard on building me a faster computer from spare parts (and from the care package sent by a good friend in Perth).  He’s also built pelmets for the lounge and bedroom windows – hopefully once we get those up, the warm air won’t just slide down the cold windowpanes and back into the rooms.  Pelmets are supposed to be one of those simple things that can make a huge difference to the warmth of a house… ours are just finger-jointed pine from the hardware store, stained with Mr B’s special mix of Black Japan and a secret ingredient.   Nothing fancy – we thought about covering them with quilt batting and fabric, but since they’re going over existing curtains that we don’t have matching fabric for, the stain will do.  And it matches the other woodwork in the house.

Half past four – time to get that washing in and start to close up the house – curtains drawn and blankets over doorways down (we don’t have many doors – that’s another story!) to keep in the warmth.

(washi tape frame from Kitschy Digitals kit, recoloured)

One of Mr Beloved’s dear friends sent a care package today, (thanks, Prote!) which included two coffee mugs from the recent Atheist Convention.  Also lots of computery geekery bits and pieces which have made Mr Beloved very happy.  So here am I, in the middle of a hot flush (just looooove that red faced look, NOT!) in our kitchen.  On the left of the photo you can see that the kitchen table has been completely taken over by art supplies; on the right of the photo you can just see the laundry, complete with the unemptied recycling box perched on top of the washer.  It’s just non-stop glamour around here, let me tell ya!

Speaking of glamour – I won a gift voucher to iSUBSCRiBE, thanks to the wonderful Girl With A Satchel.  I read GWAS blog every day because she saves us money: I wait and see her review of magazines before I buy them, especially if they’ve been wrapped in plastic (ooh, anyone else just hear the Twin Peaks theme?!).   I’m trying to decide between getting 12 months of Vogue Australia (which I buy maybe every 2nd or third month, it’s pure fantasy) and  Country Style magazine (which is also pure fantasy, but with expensive kitchens instead of expensive clothes.) So far I can’t make up my mind.

You’d think having hot flushes would be useful in the colder weather we’ve been having, but sadly my face is the only part that gets hot.  I find myself lying in bed at night with a damp facewasher on my cheek while my feet rest on the hot water bottle.  Very odd. I’m not sure if the flushes are physical or psychological (or both, since can you really separate the two?) but I DO NOT LIKE THEM.

Not much else to report here: it’s cold, I hate my medicine, we’re trying to get more things done each day (Mr Beloved is currently building pelmets for the lounge and bedroom windows, to try and keep some heat in); my nose is still very sore and swollen, and my throat still hurts when I yawn.  I’m slowly recovering from the surgeries – s- l-o–w—l—y.  And I’m continuing to work with the psychologist and psychiatrist and GP to try and manage my anxiety and panic attacks.  Not getting much reading done.

Right, getting too cold here, back to the house to do the dishes so my hands warm up!

Constance J. Woodle went to day spa today.  Apparently she’s very well behaved for the groomer, but she’s a TERROR when you’re trying to get her into the cage in the van -the groomer picks up and returns, how’s that for service, eh?  This is her winter haircut – just the feet, face and bum trimmed, because she feels the cold.

And now we’re all headed upstairs for a nap – it’s 16C and grey here, so fingers crossed my silly internalised “NO NAPS!” voice will STFU and let me rest.

So here’s one in progress. No idea where it will end up, but so far there’s acrylic paint, watercolour crayons, and that silhouette… I haven’t been doing as much in my journal as I was before the surgery because I’m still kind of  – well, crook.  I’m not getting all that much of anything done, even though I am getting more awake hours in the day.   Hopefully the balance will be better as I continue to heal.

In fact, I’ve been being pretty tough on myself: I haven’t been letting myself go back to bed once I’m up in the morning, and I’m tending to be up around 8 am.  This is a whole new pattern for me.

The not-napping has become somewhat problematic, because I really NEED to rest, and for some reason my weird bi-polar brain does NOT WANT ME TO.   I need to be gentle with myself and let myself read on the bed and just rest, but no – somehow there is this RESISTANCE that says I can’t.  It’s not being reasonable, there is no logic – an hour’s sleep would have little or no impact on my nightly sleep hygiene. I tried writing myself a permission slip: the psychologist suggested maybe I need to write a prescription instead: “Rx: Caity, have a little lie down! It will be ok!”

I’m getting back into my pre-surgery bedtime ritual of listening to Phillip as I do the dishes and generally wind down – taking my medicines, maybe painting a background in the journal, or just flicking through magazines for images, making the bed, setting up the CPAP machine.  By the time the 11 o’clock news comes on I’ve generally brushed my teeth, washed my face, and can start to read the very few pages I get through before I zonk out.

The doctors (and various websites I have checked in my anxiety-ridden state) all say that recovery from tonsillectomy takes AT LEAST 4 weeks, and from septoplasty a minimum of 6 weeks – with most people saying they are still recovering out to three months from surgery.  Even though I KNOW I’ve had fairly big surgery in areas with lots of nerve endings, I keep expecting myself to be better NOW.  I’ll say it again: I am NOT a good patient!

In fact, I had to contact the ENT surgeon again because “my nose feels weird (and now my left sinus cavity is hurting, too)” – I’m now on another course of antibiotics.  I burst into tears when I saw my GP this morning: WTF?  I felt like everything – the sore hand, the blocked up breathing, the pain in my leg which wakes me up during the night – all just got on top of me and before I knew it I was sobbing.

If you’ve made it this far you’re probably my Mum (hi Mum!) because anyone else reading has probably left the pity party by now.  But thanks for reading, anyway.