So. Today I went to the Very Helpful Psychiatrist. I explained that I kept crying when I didn’t want to, that I felt like I was letting everybody down and being a burden by not being well. She gave me a couple of options about medication but MORE IMPORTANTLY she reminded me that this is the nature of bipolar: the illness does this. Firstly, it is not unusual to have a period of depression following a period of mania.
Secondly, the illness makes sufferers feel like they are too much trouble, and this is just PART OF THE ILLNESS. I can’t emphasise that part of the conversation enough – it’s what separates the Very Helpful Psychiatrist from other doctors I have seen in the past, this understanding. She reminded me that I had done the right thing by getting help (and we were just lucky that she’d had a cancellation and could see me this morning, but she would have somehow squeezed me in anyway – she’s that good) and made sure that Mr B understood the medication options as well before we left. If I’m not better in a week we have another move up our sleeve, but I’m hoping I will improve by then. Fingers crossed.
Since we had the car out anyway we did a quick side trip to Bunnings for some gardening supplies for Mr B. He needed some peat moss, potting mix and a couple of cheap pots to pot out some of his carnivorous plants, and we ended up with a rather sad but bargain priced little nepenthes for $1. The particular species is as yet unknown – bit like a lucky dip plant.
After that I was exhausted so we came home for a while. Later I went back out to pay some money on a lay-by and the lovely shop assistant asked ‘since it’s RU OK? day, are you okay?’ and I just about burst into tears again. Oh dear. Luckily it was somewhere they know me, so I was able to say ‘Um, sort of, thanks for asking, doing better…’ and make my excuses and leave, knowing that she really did understand that she had done the right thing by asking.
Have I mentioned there are times I really, REALLY HATE THIS ILLNESS? Rapid cycling sux. It just SUX.
Here, I took an (0verblown, whoops, how do you turn the flash off on this this thing?) photo of some of our love-in-the-mist flowers, because I need to learn how to work the camera on my phone.