I really cannot stress enough…

…just HOW stressed and anxious I have been in the last 24 hours.  To the point where the anxi0lytic which normally lets me get back to some mindfulness skills within about 10 minutes didn’t work and I was still FREAKING OUT three hours later.

So.   Didn’t go to my group of scrapbooking friends today- called them up  tearfully and said I wasn’t doing well, was worried that I might end up in the ward today – that’s how overwrought I was about these damn obsessive thoughts and anxiety symtoms (jaw clenching leading to neck-aches, worse back pain and fibromyalgia pain, and my usual gastro symptoms, which are SUCH fun…)

Got in to see my Very Helpful Psychiatrist today (suspect I stole some of her lunch time, she’s amazing at squeezing people in for emergency appointments) and with Mr Beloved by my side and my helpful notebook of what happened when (symptoms and med1cation changes) we worked through what was going on.

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!  Relief!!

Yes, of course your anxiety symptoms are worse, what with every thing that’s been going on with your brother and your family being so far away and the university application but guess what?  We can increase the med1cation we were in the process of changing, and that will help with anxiety, sleep, and pain.  Of course as a responsible psychiatrist I won’t let you get addicted to the anxi0lytics.  And you know what work you have to do psychologically to make room for these FEELINGS, yes?

Yes.

I do.  (Arrgh.  Hard work… needs to be done.  Good that I am seeing the Helpful Psychologist tomorrow.)

And from next week the Very Helpful Psychiatrist will have a Mental Health Nurse on staff (covered by medicare) so for these sort of crises I can see the Nurse and save the (expensive and time-precious) visits to the VHP for more crucial things like med1cation changes and BIG crises.

(and I also now know that if the anxi0lytic doesn’t work that in an emergency I can take another one within about half an hour.  Good to know. )

In other news, I got my transcript in the mail today from waaaaaaaaaaay back when I studied at the Australian National University.  But that’s a story for another day.

And Gordy is doing well, has his AICD implanted yesterday, still in hospital today.