Well, this time next week the surgery will have been done and (hopefully) I’ll be at home recovering. (Not sure if I’ll be spending one night or two in hospital.) I’m trying to be brave…but because I KNEW I needed help, I went back to my psychologist again today.
On Tuesday, I showed her my current art journal (you can see some pages from it on my Flickr Stream). Here’s a sample page:
My psychologist, T, found the journal really useful: she could see a definite cycle of moods, and we talked about the repeated imagery I choose. All of which was useful, but since I rarely look back at pages once they’re done, I later realised that doing so had left my feeling very anxious, feeling like I was out of my depth. So I made a second appointment for the week (usually I try to keep them about a month apart, since they’re expensive and I only have access to a limited number of appointments).
So: we worked through some techniques to help with pain management and with the panic attacks. Even did some scribbled drawings, which was a helpful way of getting in touch with some emotional stuff that was (literally) choking me up. Phew. Talked about ways of getting me connected back into my body instead of panicking about the stories going past in my head. One of the tools sounds super simple when I write it out (name 5 things I can see, 5 things I can feel on my skin, 5 things I can hear…) but it’s such a useful grounding technique.
Then I stupidly had a fruit based smoothie at the mall, made on apple juice, when I KNOW that apple juice puts too much sugar into my system too quickly and I get woozy… had to sit for half an hour feeling crook before I could move again. D’OH!! Talk about not listening to your body!
GLEE is back on the tv tonight – I really enjoy that show.
And now I need a nice cuppa tea…