Gordy Day 5… and the rain

First, to Gordy – he’s got pneumonia.  Thursday night was not good – Eunju was exhausted and very upset that the antibiotics weren’t working as quickly as she’d hoped, and Gordy was frustrated that he had to go back to using a big oxygen mask instead of the smaller nasal tubes.

But in GOOD news – he’s talking, he’s able to give directions (to the Korean food shops at the Central Markets in Adelaide so Mum and Dad could pick up some bibimbap (also seen on the cover of this month’s SBS “Feast” Magazine)  for Ju- because comfort food when you’re exhausted is a Good Thing.  Gordy can move his arms and legs, too, which is a Big Thing. These are amazingly hopeful signs, given what the outcomes could have been.

Latest report I had this morning, he was slightly better, having had stronger antibiotics overnight, and was able to clear some of the muck from his lungs.

So he’s still in the ICU for now.

And now to the rain.

It’s been wet and miserable for a few days now.  And we do get nervous when the weather bureau starts issuing severe weather warnings… after the floods in January last year, nobody believes any more that “Toowoomba never floods (it’s on top of the range).” So as I’m writing this in the warm, dry shed/studio, poor Mr Beloved is out in the pouring rain ensuring that it stays that way: he’s installing a “make-do” sandbag system (an old tarp and lots of dirt) and some big pieces of timber which will help to divert water away from the doors.

mske do sandbags Gordy Day 5... and the rain

Not pretty, but should do the job...

(The rain is already pooling in the short time between getting this far and Mr Beloved having a break while I took a photo…)

Paranoid? Perhaps.  We like to think of it as being prepared.  Places not that far to the west and south of Toowoomba have already had rainfalls in excess of 200 mm this week.  The ground is already soggy, and that’s exactly the sort of conditions last year that lead to all the run-off from what felt like the entire hill ending up in our yard…  The Bureau of Meteorology reports Toowoomba had just over 25mm of rain (that’s an inch) overnight, and even though the official rain gauge at the airport is currently showing only 0.8 mm since 9am, we know that’s not an accurate measure of how much rain OUR house gets.  I can guarantee that the dog got more rain on her than that in the journey between house and shed!

Let’s hope we’re being overly pessimistic, and that the rain stops soon.  There are very few days when I wish for a clothes dryer – weeks like this though…

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Gordy, Day 3

Hard to believe that it’s only the third day since Gordy’s cardiac event… here’s the latest update.

He’s still in the ICU, but is breathing without the respirator.  He broke his partial plate when he fell and aspirated a tooth (ouch!) BUT luckily has managed to cough it up!  He has a chest infection (not uncommon after a cardiac arrest and CPR and all the hospital intervention that is so necessary afterwards, not to mention the tooth) and is still very groggy (understandably!) but is responding well to commands.

Eunju is very pleased with his progress (and she knows her stuff.)  It’s very early days yet, obviously, but he’ll move from the ICU to the cardiology ward soon.

Far too early to know what’s happened neurologically, they’re not even sure if he can swallow on his own yet.. but we’re hopeful.

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Not much of an update on Gordy, but…

He’s holding on.  Last update I had, the ICU doctors had warmed him back up from the therapeutic hypothermia, and were considering reducing the sedation this afternoon to see if he could breathe on his own.  Eunju (Super Nurse!) was very pleased to report to Mum and Dad this morning that the doctors had reduced some of the medicati0ns Gordy was receiving through drips.  (We’re all a bit worried about Ju’s lack of sleep but of course she wants to be by his side – who wouldn’t want to be with the person they love?)

So now we just wait.  Have I mentioned that their son, 20 year old university student Huneal Hanneul[sorry, kiddo, your Aunty can't spell!] (he’s studying mining engineering and is doing very well, we’re so proud) is being brilliant – driving Mum and Dad to the hospital, going housework, and so on?

I wish I could be over there to help, but there’s really not much I could do.  I am determined to get over to Adelaide SOON to see him, but only if it’s not going to make more work for everyone.

gordy Not much of an update on Gordy, but...

Gordon in Leeton in May, 2009

We’re all very grateful that there were at least two doctors who are fans of The Hillbilly Hoot  (a weekly gathering of musos and fans at Adelaide’s Community Radio Station 3D). From the reading I’ve been doing (I’m certainly no expert) the sooner CPR is done after a cardiac arrest the better the chances of the patient’s survival and recovery.  And he had GOOD CPR – but even lousy CPR is better than none. (Do you really need me to provide the references? I can – study after study has shown it.  If you have ANY doubts, and someone is not breathing and has no heartbeat – START CPR.  Get help as soon as you can because the breathing part is hard to keep up on your own, but just do it!!)

 

 

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Hoping for good news….

“Caity? It’s Mum… I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news about your brother…”

Those are the words I woke up to at eight o’clock this morning.  Swimming up to the surface, fearing the worst, but so relieved to hear “He’s in the ICU…”

Gordy had a heart attack heart failure last night. [updated after  I spoke with Mum and Dad this evening.  The difference is - his heart just stopped.  Not a blockage - just STOPPED.]

Fortunately, he was somewhere where there were a couple of doctors (if I heard Mum right on the slightly fuzzy connection [yes, I did, two doctors!]) who started CPR straight away; the ambulance only took five minutes to reach him, and he was admitted to intensive care in one of the best hospitals in South Australia [Royal Adelaide].  He’s in an induced coma [on a ventilator] and they’re keeping him cool; they don’t know yet if there will be any brain damage. [The ICU doctors are going to start warming him up again overnight, about 24 hours after they started cooling him.

A quick Google search shows why the ICU cooled Gordy: "The American Heart Association (AHA) issued recommendations for cooling cardiac arrest patients for up to 24 hours as far back as 2005. However, critical care physician Peter Marshall, MD, says only about 10 percent of hospitals offer it even though it is proven effective, more patients recover function than in the past and spend less time in the hospital."  That was from a 2010 article from the Yale School of Medicine, "Putting the patient 'on ice' can make a lifesaving difference".]

He is reacting to the sound of his partner, Eunju’s, voice, so that has to be a good sign.  I refer to her with great admiration as “Super Nurse” because she trained as an Intensive Care specialist nurse before she took on an echocardiography traineeship when Gordy was diagnosed with heart issues a few years back.  And apparently she was planning on studying mental health and diabetes specialisations this year – see what I mean – super nurse!  So there’s really no one better to have by your side.  And I know she’s a HUGE comfort to Mum and Dad.

I’ll fly to Adelaide if I’m needed but at this stage there’s really not much anyone outside the ICU can do.

Just hope for a good outcome.  He’s 39.  He’s my brother and he’s a very cool bloke.

 

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And UP through the flaming hoops!

man on bull through flaming hoop And UP through the flaming hoops!

Well it’s been an interesting day!

Firstly, I went out to the university for my appointment with the Disabilities Resources Coordinator.  She was very helpful, but I’m sort of doing things in the wrong order – it was better to grab the appointment with her while I could.  She made lots of notes about the changes to exam conditions I would need – can you believe that with all the technology available during term time, they insist that exams are HAND WRITTEN? How retro!  (I can understand why they do it – obviously you can’t let a student have access to their computer during a “closed book” exam, especially on a wireless access campus – but for most students I imagine it would be the only time all year they are required to actually write with a pen and paper.  The poor lecturers probably struggle to read the illegible scrawls that result.)

I, however, physically CANNOT write for two hours – my hands swell up if I try to write for more than about 10 minutes.  Just one of the little joys of my particular f1bromyalgia.  Yay.  Nor can I sit without moving for long periods.  I need to get up and stretch, walk around, take medicat10n… and so on.

There were other considerations – needing extra thinking time for exams (becuase of the muddleheadedness medicat10ns bring), being provided with a (blank, not connected to anything) computer so I could type exams, form letters in case I needed extensions of time to complete assignments.

Then I came home and filled in my QTAC online application.  As far as I could, anyway – I have a dozen pages more of forms that I need to supply as additional documentation: I have to write a statement explaining how my illness has affected my previous study; I need supporting letters from at least one of my doctors, and I need certified copies of transcripts from my previous attempts at study.  KerCHING$$ ouch!  The one from the local TAFE wasn’t bad – $13, and the Australian National University in Canberra was $15, but it HURT to have to send Charles Sturt University (which waaaaaaaaaaay back in the dim distant dark ages when I Knew Everything Because I Was a TEENAGER  was the  Riverina Murray Institute of Higher Education) $50 to get a piece of paper showing the subjects I FAILED.  OWWWWWWIE!

It’s also quite confronting having to say “Well, yes, I did try to study before, but welll.. you see, the first time I was a teenager ( and so I thought I knew EVERYTHING and I left uni to get married (and hooo boy that one was a big mistake); then I went back to uni again but that time I got really sick with glandular fever which eventually became fibromyalgia and I spent years in bed and the depression got bad; and then the LAST time I tried studying was not long before I got my actual official Bipolar diagnosis (and gosh, didn’t that explain a LOT of what had been going on….) but hey, please let me have another crack at it, this time I’m at least aware of my limitations?

Anyway.  Nearly time to go work out what to make for dinner…

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Crump in a hump on her rump…

…as my Dad would say.  That was me, VERY undignified, at the shopping mall earlier this afternoon.  Thought I’d just pop over there while it was quiet (Sunday arvo is usually a good time, provided you don’t mind some things being out of stock on the shelves) and get some grapes and some hairclips.  I’m growing my hair out from a baaaaaaad cut last year and it’s at the stage where I really need clips to manage and I only have TWO so you can see what a DISASTER it would be if I lost one so I had to go buy some and…

Anyway.  Walking along…

All of a sudden, I wasn’t.

I was on the floor.

Ouch.

Managed to land without breaking anything, just a grazed elbow, bruised right hip, and somehow put my jaw out of whack again (How?!).

As I was doing the turtle-scramble of getting to my knees to push myself to my feet, a kind older lady with a walking cane in her shopping trolley came to help me, got me to hang on to her trolley and guided me over to the nearest seat, while I tearfully explained it was probably the change in medicat10n and she sympathised that it happened to her because of inner ear problems “but I doubt I could have got up on my own, dear, we’d still be waiting for four strong men to come and help!”

(This is the second time I have been in distress at this same mall. And the second time that an older woman has been the ONLY PERSON who has stopped to see if I needed help.  Nobody else stopped, other people just walked past.  Hard NOT to draw the inference that it’s older women who pick up the pieces, isn’t it?!)

black kitty toe dance 300x294 Crump in a hump on her rump...

Maybe I should work on my balance....

I sat for a little while, phoned Mr Beloved to let him know what had happened and settle myself, and then got on with the shopping.

I’m not sure why I fell over.  Could be the medicat10n change – I’m definitely feeling a bit wonky lately.  Then again, the pa1n itself (neur0path1c pa1n from my back injury as well as f1br0myalg1a) or the pa1nk1llers can make you a bit unsteady, too.  I see my GP on the 30th and hopefully we’ll have time (after filling in a huge bit of government paperwork so I can see my psych0l0gist for 10 appointments this year) to discuss what’s going on.

In any case I think I won’t be driving by myself until we get this sorted out, which is frustrating.  And I’ll call the psychiatrist tomorrow to make an appointment just to be on the safe side – she’s very up to date on medicat10ns and s1de effects,  and I’ll need her to fill in a form for the university stuff anyway…

And now off to think about dinner.

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In which our heroine feels OLD.

So.  I’m off to see the Disability Support Officer at the University of Southern Queensland on Monday… I have dug out my HSC [Higher School Certificate, the mark I'll probably still need to show to get into uni...] (first time in a looooooooooooooong time that I have needed that particular piece of paper, I was surprised I could find it!) but then discovered that although I could find my birth certificate which matches the name on my HSC,  for some reason the change of name certificate to prove who I’ve been since 1990 has been LOST.  Probably in all the mucking about with the flood last year.

I was really CROSS because I’ve been making a big effort to keep all the filing more organised, especially since I’ve been aware that I’ve been less [mentally] well… and so the expenses of trying to pull myself up by my bootstraps begin.  $39 for a replacement copy of my name change plus $8 for registered post. (I have to get certified copies of current ID before I can send the forms off for that though…)

MM006 300x234 In which our heroine feels OLD.

Then there’s the $60 fee to apply to QTAC (they handle all Queensland Tertiary Admissions).  I’m not sure yet which certificates I need from various medical professionals to say I’m disabled (grrrr… I hate having to claim that, but I know I need the help…) and I’m not sure exactly *when* they have to come into the application process – hopefully that should be clearer after Monday’s appointment.

IF I get in to uni there’s the “Student Services and Amenities Fee” which might be as much as $263.  Then there’s textbooks (hopefully second-hand, and of course the ever helpful comparison site BOOKO will be my friend) and the usual paper, ink, transport etc… luckily the bus goes from just up the block straight out to uni, so that may prove cheaper than paying for parking out there. Something else to investigate.

And and of course I have to go to the Government Agency Which Controls Our Lives and ask them how this might impact on our pens10ns… I’m hoping that by trying to do SOMETHING USEFUL with my life they might leave me alone.  (please?)  (They may even give me a small supplement, which might just about cover my bus fare.)

It’s a long time since I last tried to go to uni.  Things have changed ENORMOUSLY.  Apart from me being 20 odd years older, I mean.  There was barely ANY SUCH THING as Teh Interwebs back then – hard for you youngsters to believe, I know!  I mean, do people even use pens and notebooks in lectures now? There was no such thing as just cutting and pasting huge slabs of someone else’s work – my goodness, if we wanted to plagiarise we had to type it all ourselves! (On my 386! BEFORE WINDOWS!!!) And the rattle of dot matrix printers could be heard late into the night at the end of each week as assignments were due… and the uni academic’s newsletter actually had a quaint little guessing game each fortnight where the aim was to recognise part of a novel – imagine how quickly you could identify that now – a couple of quick quotation marks into the search engine of your choice and Robert’s the sibling of your parent.

I’m pretty sure I’m going to try ONE subject this semester,  and I’m going to go on campus rather than online – mainly because I need the social outlet.  Otherwise the only times I see people I know is my little group of scrapbooking friends, or medical appointments.   If I can sit through 9 am-2 pm of group therapy once a week (ok, with morning tea and lunch breaks, sure, and having a bed day the next day) then I’m hoping I can manage one lecture and one tutorial a week, with perhaps a library study run in between?

(Apparently you can switch between online and on-campus modes if you need to, though.  Hmmm.  That could be useful.) And if I get in, this is the subject I pretty much HAVE to do (since it’s the compulsory one for most B. Arts students: Introduction to Communication Studies).

I’m not actually aiming to get a Bachelor of Arts, by the way.  If I manage that, cool.  (I only have 9 years to do it.)  At this stage, the idea is to get me doing something so I am less depressed and panicky.  But I am (nominally) enrolling in the Writing and Society (Creative Writing) program, and if you’re really interested you can look at the recommended enrolment pattern for the 12 unit interdisciplinary major here.

Phew!  I’m tired just finding all that out.  I’m a bit worried that this might all be too hard… but I have to try.  I need to do something.  Attempting some study seems like a fairly harmless something to do.  My memory is pretty dodgy these days, and I’m not as bright as I used to be but hey – P’s get degrees, I don’t need to knock myself out getting High Distinctions and attempting a full time study load… just seeing how things go.

 

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Wildlife….

coot02 300x225 Wildlife....

go here to see what’s going on!

(And if you need more info after that – go here)

(Mr BandiCoot prefers to dine on Whiskas Older Cat Dry food, or Whiskas Furball Formula Dry Food – yummy yum yum says Bandi!!)

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Today is my sister’s birthday.

Nif and Caity Today is my sisters birthday.

Today will always be my sister’s birthday, even though she’s gone.  She would have been 41 today.

I remember the day this photo was taken.  She’d started feeling unwell around July.  At first the doctors weren’t sure what was wrong.  But eventually I heard – a brain tumour.  One of the nasty types – fast spreading, inoperable.   She was just 32 and had never been a smoker or a drinker, never used a mobile phone… had been a runner,  always fit, a vegetarian or vegan for most of her life.

When I met up with her at the Sydney Museum of Contemporary Arts Cafe that day in October I was shocked by how much weight she’d already lost.  She joked that she had the “most expensive hairdresser in Sydney”, since her pixie cut was the result of her neurosurgeon  removing a large piece of the tumour that was pressing on some important parts of her brain.  The surgery was never going to be a cure, though, and she made the decision not to have radio or chemotherapy.  She wanted to live the life she had left.

Sadly, it wasn’t long before she couldn’t manage in her own flat anymore, and she moved into Sacred Heart Hospice, part of St Vincent’s Hospital in Sydney.  Mum and Dad pretty much left their house in Wagga and moved to Sydney to be with her.

She was so clever, so funny, so brave.  She celebrated her 34th birthday with a party at Sacred Heart with many friends and with family around her.  And then a month later she was gone.

nif Today is my sisters birthday.

Jennifer Patricia Miller (“Nif”)

18 January 1971 – 19-Feb 2005

 

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